Reflection Seven

Since seeing X’s friend and finding out the news, I did what any psycho ex hook up would do: research. Note here the difference between stalking and research.

I looked up their wedding registry and tried to find out information about their unborn child – you know, to make sure this was really happening. All signs pointed to “yes” and I was faced with nothing more than ugly feelings. Sure, I knew I was bigger than all of this… but it still bothered me.

I had these feelings of low self esteem and self worth, really. It was like my whole life I had always been too good and all of the sudden, I hadn’t been good enough. It was a tough thing to cope with for me, but at the same time, I had to plan my own wedding. Kissing my fiance goodnight every night made all of these negative feelings go away. I was happy. And maybe X was happy too.

Mark and I were married on June 22, 2008. From then until now? Life’s been crazy. And yes, things have happened with “X” but rather indirectly. The next few installments will be recollections of what’s happened with X since my wedding. Hold on folks; the ride is still going.

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